Tuesday, August 16, 2005

A Lemon Is Not A Lime

I am in the middle of another frustrating online shopping experience. Sometimes I wonder why I even try. But the process of getting packages delivered really has gotten easier - there now is a store on the first floor which is 1)open every day and 2)friendly and happy to sign for things for us in the building.

Except... when a package is sent via restricted Fedex. Didn't know there was such a thing, did you? Well, apparently you can send something with the instruction that nobody but the intended recipient can sign for it. Not sure why this would be something that would work very well in a city where a lot of people have doormen or supers that sign for things, but hey, it was an out of town company, it might not have occurred to them.

But the kicker was that I found all of this out on Thursday, when Fedex left a Door Tag saying they couldn't deliver the package - WITHOUT A NAME ON IT. Did I mention I live in an apartment building? So you get that there are more than one of us living here, right? Guess the Fedex person didn't. Still, I thought it might be for me, so brought the Door Tag into my apartment, looked up the number online, only to realize that while I could see the tracking information, it doesn't actually say who the sender or recipient is. So I had to call their 800#, which is one of those damn voice-activated systems that never gives you all of the options you need, so you (or is it just me?) wind up screaming "NO! I SAID CUSTOMER SERVICE!" and "GIVE ME A FUCKING HUMAN TO TALK TO, YOU AUTOMATED MORON!" until finally you get defaulted to a service rep. She looked up the ticket number, verified it was my package and not one of my neighbors', agreed that the driver should have left a name on the ticket, but told me the sender had chosen the restricted signature option so really I would have to be home to sign for it because they couldn't leave it with the store. They would try to deliver again on Monday (although I said I still wouldn't be home) and then, if I still wasn't there (because I would be at work), return to sender.

Okay, so I was pissed, but not much I could do, right? I'd leave a note with the ticket on the front door on Monday, asking them to please leave at the store, and maybe they'd actually go ahead and do that. But no sense putting the note out on Friday morning, right? I mean, Fedex's own service rep told me that they wouldn't make a second attempt until Monday.

Yeah, you guessed it. I come home Friday evening and there's another ANONYMOUS Door Tag. So I called the 800# again, got no satisfaction, and just decided to tape the damn note/door tag on the door all weekend, just in case. And it worked! Monday Fedex honored my note (unsigned) asking for delivery to the store, and I got my package.

So I'm happy now, right? Ah, you just don't appreciate how bad my luck is. I get the package, tear it open, all excited to see the pretty lime green digital camera case I ordered - and it's lemon yellow. It's not just that it's a yellowy green and I'm being picky - the box clearly says "LEMON" and the packing slip says I ordered LIME. I don't like yellow. I like green - and I paid for green and have already gone through a lot of hell to get this thing and you know what? I want what I ordered.

This morning I sent it back and now will wait for the company to send me the right one. I gave them my work address this time, so hopefully the delivery will be easier. (The Fedex guy in the office knows me - and he's cute.)

I do think that if shopping on the internet were too easy, I'd be a pauper. (With a very crowded apartment.) And you know when I finally get that camera case I'm going to really love it.


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