Sunday, November 06, 2005

I'm glad I'm not 20.

This week I went on an overnight business trip with a 20-something colleague and felt really old. But also, realized that there are good things about not being in my 20's any more. For one, dating has gotten really complicated.

Back when I was in the hot & heavy dating phase, if a guy didn't call you, he didn't call you. And you suffered (or not) and got over it. Now you have to worry about whether or not he'll email, or text message, or comment on your My Space site... and each level of communication has its own hidden meaning. If he text messages you, he's not interested enough to want an actual conversation. If he calls your home phone instead of your cell, he must not really want to reach you.

Dating was hard enough in the 80's. Remember when you'd run into your apartment as the phone was ringing its last ring, and have to wait for the light on your answering machine to flash? And then sometimes only get a hang-up and have to agonize whether it was him or just a telemarketer. Now, with caller id, there's no mystery.

It worked both ways, too - if you called him and then chickened out after a few rings, you could just hang up and call another time. You never left a caller id trail, looking like a stalker.

And text messaging? I don't know how to. No, really. Who would I message? None of my friends or family do it. I communicate enough via email, phone, even written letters (I know! I'm ancient!) My traveling partner repeatedly got and sent msgs to her boyfriend, roommate, and other friends throughout our time together. Guess it's more efficient than saving up your thoughts and spewing them out at one time on a phone call, but seriously? Not sure I want some people to be able to reach out to me every time something crosses their mind that they think I want to hear. Time is a great filter.


Blogger Lily said...

I'm 21 and my boyfriend and I wouldn't have gotten together if it hadn't been for email--that's how we used to communicate. But now we see each other all the time and don't write as much and the other day he said, "How come you don't email like you used to!"

7:46 PM  
Blogger Nick said...

My wife still writes letters too :) It's much easier for me to at least type it and then print it off. I hate writing :)

8:29 PM  

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