Saturday, August 05, 2006

Oh, August

A few days ago, a huge colorful chalk valentine appeared on the sidewalk at the corner. "Gretchen, you are beautiful," it read. At first I thought, "Awww... how romantic," but that was swiftly replaced with, "Hmmm... hope it's not a stalker." I mean, this thing was HUGE - about ten feet across and filled in with bright pink and blue and green chalk. Nothing subtle about this guy.

But then again, when did I get to be so cynical?

* * *

My weight loss has somewhat stalled, although with good reason. My last few weeks have been filled with visiting family, having family visit me, summer picnics at work, etc. I've made the wisest food choices in each occasion, but that doesn't mean I stayed in the calorie level required to continue to lose. I'm not gaining, just wavering within a 2 lb range, but my net loss hasn't changed in over a month. I'm not giving up, and on the days when I have the ability to control my food intake, I stick to the plan (which is probably what keeps me from gaining.) I hope this week I'm able to stay moderate and see some more results by next weekend. I miss seeing the scale drop. Although I had a doctor's appointment and he was impressed to see that I was down 50 lbs. since my last visit.

* * *

One of my baby fish died, the first one since they were mosquito sized. I don't know what was wrong with him; he was hovering near the gravel breathing heavily when I left for work, and dead as a doornail when I got home. (What is a live doornail anyway?) It's still amazing that I had 15 (now 14) out of 17 babies live to adulthood. One even appears to be pregnant, but I'm not going to play god (or man, really) and try to save them. They will have to fend for themselves in the gravel and plants in the tank, and if they manage to avoid getting eaten by their older relatives, bravo. I just can't have any more fish. My tanks are overcrowded as it is.

* * *

I have not given thought to writing in way too long. My creativity is dormant. I'm not sure why that is. Maybe after the rush of the spring writing workshop, I needed a break? But this is why I'm 43 and virtually unpublished. No discipline, no constant drive.

* * *

First morning without the a/c on. I had to turn it off during the night because I got cold. The windows are open and I'm happy, but of course it's much too early for the bakery to fill the neighborhood with the dreaded burnt smell. Yeah, I thought that all the baking was done early, too, but the burnt sugar smell hits around midday, so I'm not sure what they're doing. It's one of those old Italian bakeries with an Italian ice window in the front. This past week people lined up five and six deep for ices.

* * *


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