Did I mention I hate computers?

My computer is fucked. All of my USB ports are not working, continually reporting "USB Device Not Recognized" errors. This occurs with my wireless mouse, my flash drive, and my printer connection, so it's not just one malfunctioning device. Windows offers no solutions (surprise) beyond re-installing the drivers, but their troubleshooting is limited to an individual device not working, not all of them. Logic tells me that it's something wrong with the USB hardware, not the drivers - is it possible something just wipes out your drivers all at once, and does nothing else to the rest of your computer? Anyway, I can't keep trying to figure it out, because it's driving me insane. I am not in the mood to install all of these drivers just to find out it's not that. On the other hand, if I don't, I won't be able to: print, update my iPod, unload my camera, or sync my Treo. Seriously, why isn't there a friendly knowledgeable computer fix-it store anywhere?

A great way to start Christmas! I'm heading out to visit family later today, so there promises to be a festive end to the day.