Wednesday, December 27, 2006


I put up a profile on a singles site. I have gotten a few responses, but mostly just "smiles," which are people who haven't paid for full access to the site, which means they can't send actual emails, but can send you a smile email that you can respond to and initiate the conversation. If you want to, after reviewing their profiles. And photos.

Now, I don't have a photo up yet because I don't have a current one and I don't want to put up an old photo. I think that's false advertising. I met a guy once from a personal ad (and I mean that literally, I met only ONE ever so far in my life - more on him later), and I walked right past him because he looked ten years older than his photo. His hair was completely saturated with gray, while he had thick dark hair in the photo. (He actually told me once that he was offended when another women he met told him she thought it false advertising that he used an old photo! But I, of course, completely saw her point.) On another site, I never put up a photo, and was told by several men that if I didn't, I'd never get serious responses, because men are shallow.

I don't know if that's true all of the time, especially on this site, which is a liberal vegetarian hippy-dippy site. I gave it a try because I don't think I really fit in on some of the other more materialism-focused sites. But I'm not sure I like this one either. Before I set up my profile, I found several that were interesting to me - age appropriate (within 3 years on either side), local, not too "out there," artistic, and reasonably good-looking. I haven't "smiled" at any, because I'd rather have my photo up before I do, but in the meantime, I've gotten about a half dozen smiles and two emails.

I haven't answered any. I figured the holidays are a good cover for not responding quickly. And, yet, I don't really want to respond at all, because:

1) the age thing. The guy mentioned above is a perfect example of what infuriates me about the whole dating thing - he was 42 and felt it was perfectly acceptable to limit the age range for the women he was seeking to 25-32. (This is one of many reasons we knew we weren't compatible, even before we met in person.) I set my age range for 39-49 (I'm 44.) Anyhow, most of the responses I've gotten are from men 55 or so. That just seems really old to me, and I don't think I'm being hypocritical. Am I?

2) the hair thing. God, yes, I really am that shallow. I'm pretty okay with most things - I don't know men's fashion designers so don't really care what a man wears as long as it's neat and clean, and I'm pretty open to height or weight, but I draw the line at long hair. I hate long hair on men. I find it really unattractive and it's a huge turn off for me. Unfortunately, men who look for women on this site tend to be of the long-haired, post-hippy type. Not all, but most of the ones that have responded to my profile. I feel like a bitch even writing about it here, so how could I put it in my profile?

I'm tempted to delete my profile and write a new one under a new name when I finally find a photo. Wimp!!!!


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