After-after

I'm feeling low. Part of it is the slight hangover, part of it the usual "after-party" letdown ("can't believe it's over!"), part of it feeling depressed that only 2 friends came. The others, individually, had decent excuses (for the most part), but collectively it adds up to a pile of self-pity. Is it because I don't have that many close-close friends any more, just casual ones, for whom it's easy to cancel on an invite? My closest friend, whom I've known for over 30 years, is someone I write letters (the old fashioned kind) almost every day. We share the most intimate details of our lives with each other, but see each other only a few times a year.

I hope I feel better tomorrow. Right now the thought of going to work in the morning is too much. I want to crawl into bed and stare blandly at the TV, hand randomly punching at the remote.