Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Remind me of the stages of grief

On gym mornings, I usually wake up before my alarm clock goes off, but still manage to dawdle enough that I am racing to get everything together to be out the door by 6:30. Today I was up at 4:45, which isn't unusual, but somehow I am sitting here at 6:03, ready to go. I could, of course, just leave, get to the gym early, finish early, get to work early - but something about a few more minutes here is nice.

Yesterday my lawyer said he would be surprised if we learned any more about the board's decision. He's ready to ask for my downpayment back, but agreed to wait a day or two to see what the realtor unearths. After speaking to him, I realized that it's over. The end. Finis. I have to banish from my head the fantasy images of my future home. I will never know where the piano would have fit best in that apartment. I will never know if painting the kitchen wall light green would overpower the room, or if I would be able to find a stained glass transom window to fit the space over the bedroom door. Or whether their cable service is more reliable than it is here.

Now I have to decide: stay or go? I can stay here and continue to pay cheap rent and save money, and be depressed both by my lack of progress in updating my life, and the shoddy condition of this apartment. (If I take this route, I will need to invest my own money into fixing up the place, but financially it would benefit me over the long run.) Or I can look for a new rental, something bigger and newer and different and more expensive - which will make me happier but will decrease my ability to save each month, meaning that I'll never be over the hurdle of having enough to ever buy.

But one good thing - when I no longer have a future of mortgage payments looming in front of me, I can afford to do this.


Blogger madabandon said...

I'm really sorry to hear about this. But maybe, if you wait a while, the prices will actually drop, given the state of the housing market nationally. And all those new condos coming onto the market in the next year may just create a glut, creating more possibilities for you.

7:44 AM  
Blogger medusa said...

Thank you.

8:56 AM  
Blogger madabandon said...

you know, if the building you were buying into is the one i think it is, there was a piece in the TIMES real estate section a few weeks back about a women with solid financial situation who had the exact same response from the board. they didn't even grant her an interview, just rejected her outright.

and if it is the same building, many years ago i came close to buying an apartment there for a ridiculously low price. i was accepted by the board, but ended up not going through with the sale for a number of reasons, not the least of which was an incompetent mortgage broker. it seems that they have gotten haughty since then, or maybe they are afraid that the value of the apartments may drop again and people who are paying today's prices would not be able to recoup their investment or something.

1:56 PM  

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