Tuesday, December 18, 2007

So, I've written about the apartment/house dreams, where I suddenly find myself with additional rooms I never knew I had. Another common dream is the "getting home" dream, in which I am somewhere (usually my mother's, although usually not her real-life place) and I have no way to get home. My ride has disappeared, or decided to stick around longer, or changed plans and is going elsewhere before heading home. And I need to get home. There is usually scheming to get to a train station (never a bus or a plane, always a train) because for some reason I can't just ask someone to drive me, I have to go with them when they are going shopping and then suggest they turn past the train station on the way. (It's not like I'm being held prisoner, more like I am an inconvenience and don't want to impose.) Last night I dreamed that I made it to the train station with an hour to spare, and so was sitting around in the crowded waiting room, waiting and reading, and then realized that there was a line forming by the track so I got up to stand there and it dawned on me - I didn't yet have a ticket. I raced back to the ticket windows and the lines were hideously long and I knew that I would never get through the line in time to make the train, which was now coming in just a few minutes. I began to cry, and woke up.

I think the underlying theme is typical - you think you are prepared for something and then you find, at the last minute, that something has derailed your plans, and you have to scramble. It's the fear of being thrown off course. It's the same as walking into a classroom to find out there's a test you didn't study for. Or walking into a room and discovering a party you aren't dressed for. My fears just involve lack of control over transportation, since I don't drive and so am dependent on both the generosity of others, and the whims of public transportation.


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