Friday, February 29, 2008

The perilous adventures of Miss McShine

Yes, the Verizon saga continues. The "secret" phone number to the "Brooklyn engineers" finally panned out, as the woman answering it on Wednesday who thought she could solve my problem, gave up on Thursday because she wasn't getting a response from whomever, and referred me to what she called a "PCP" desk. I called the number she gave, and it was the corporate switchboard, and the first woman who answered rudely told me I needed to call the repair number, gave me the same number I'd been calling all week without getting anywhere, and hung up on me.

I called back immediately, got a man who asked me, somewhat conspiratorially, "Tell me: have you asked to speak to a supervisor?" and when I chirped back with, "Many, many times!" He gave me an 800 to lodge a complaint. I thanked him, but said I really wanted an avenue to get my phone line repaired, not just complain about it (though there will be time for that, thank you) and he said, "But you just told me that you wanted to complain" and I said, "Yes, but..." and he said, "So?" and I said, "Is this the twilight zone?" and he said this was the corporate president's line.

So I hung up and called the old repair number, talked briefly to someone who said she would transfer me to a "supervisor" and came to check in on me several times while I was on hold to assure me she was still there. Finally got me to a supervisor, who asked, "Who am I speaking to?" So I repeated my name, and she put me on hold, for 10 minutes, at which point, suddenly I was transferred back to the opening recorded voice asking me to select an option for why I was calling. My fault, for bringing up the "Twilight Zone," right?

So I furiously went through the by now memorized series of responses, got back to another agent, who promised me that another supervisor (because I foolishly didn't get the name of the first - like I had time to ask it during the two seconds she spoke to me) would call me back within 10 minutes, they promised.

I made it only 2 minutes before my eyes settled on the 800# Mr. Corporate Switchboard had given me. I was routed to a Miss McShine, who let me tell my whole sad story, and earned points by tsk-tsk-ing and "oh that's terrible"-ing in all the appropriate spots. She ensured me that this was now an escalated issue, and that she would keep in touch with me and it would not be resolved until she confirmed with me that I was a happy customer. She told me that a Miss Byron would be calling me "asap" to escalate the repair, and that if I didn't hear from her before I left the office (it being now 4:30) she would surely leave me a vm with a number so I could follow up with her.

Tick, tock. The 10 minutes from the previous call? Nope, never called me. Miss Byron? Nothing. I admit I haven't checked my work voicemail since I left at 5:30, so maybe I'm being too quick to judge. We'll see. I supposed I should feel positive that Miss McShine is on the case, but I must say, she sounds more like a cartoon character than a real live customer service rep, so I will hold my appreciation until she dons her magic glittery cape and comes through.

All I want is a working phone line. Is it too much to ask?


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