Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Strike a match!

I shredded many many pages of old files and letters and writing. Some of it is being used as packing material to keep my fragile items safe; some of it has gone to the curb in big clear plastic bags. I don't know which went where, but I like to think that old love letters are cushioning my wineglasses, while old bank statements are at the recycling center.

Old love letters. Really printouts of emails from my last serious relationship. I'd kept them in a box, afraid to open it and relive what seemed like a painful memory. But, you know? When I glanced at the pages as I fed them into the shredder, it didn't seem so bad. It wasn't really true that I mis-read the things he wrote to me, that I imagined the depth of his feelings (which, in the weeks after our breakup, I began to believe), because reading them now, with a clear head, he was very unambiguous about his feelings. There were some very good moments between us, and I think that he really did care, for most of the time. It made me, almost, nostalgic, almost to the point of wondering where he is now. (We lived in different cities, both working for the same company, a place we've both since left.) That is a road best not traveled, though.

In one of the emails I referenced "Strike a Match" and lights went off like mad. When did I stop playing Boxerjam games? I used to be really addicted. I can't even remember when I last played. So of course, this weekend I started again. I'm still pretty good at "Strike a Match" and "Out of Order" and struggle with "Know It All" (a trivia game which means if there are too many questions about cars or sports or geography, I fall hopelessly behind.) It's refreshing to see that in all the progress made on the internet in the past 5 years, that some things are still the same old fun.


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