Sunday, March 09, 2008

Bedsprings & Flowers

"Spring ahead" is my favorite time change, as it means that I'm not waking up so ridiculously early. Today I was awake at what would be 5:51, but which was now 6:51...

Small things.

Speaking of springs - I woke up last night to the sound of someone's squeaky bed. My beautiful new apartment where I will live happily ever after, disturbed by the sound of someone boinking. Well, if that's what they were doing I'm not sure they were doing it right - there was a few seconds of "squeak, squeak, squeak" and then a few seconds of silence and then it would start again. I know it's been awhile for me, but isn't there generally more of a steady rhythm, not a stop-go, start-stall?

I went into the living room and proceeded to fall asleep on the sofa, not the open sofa bed, but lying stiffly on my side on the sofa proper. Two hours later I woke up and came back to bed, to silence.

* * *

Friday I worked from home and I got a voicemail at work that there was an attempt to deliver flowers to me. I called the florist and they will deliver to my office on Monday. I resisted the temptation to ask who they were from. I'm stumped. It's likely something silly like a vendor who is trying to get my business.

Sadly, I can't think of anyone I've met recently who I'd like to receive flowers from. I mean, in a romantic way. What scares me is that I reconnected with an ex, purely through a business network (we were colleagues, oh so many years ago), and within two emails (the first being only a "hello"), he managed to spill that his marriage has gone sour, they are just together for the kids, it's in "name only," blah, blah, blah.

Maybe I'm too cold about this, and maybe it's easy to judge from the outside, but I think that's all hogwash. I have divorced parents, and believe me, if they had stayed together for us kids, we would have suffered much more. I think children are better served with parents who are happy and fulfilled in their life and loves, whether it's as a legal unit or separate households. Do you want your role models to be two people who were miserable together and only were that way because of you? Or do you want two parents who've made their own lives, and are finally happy, even if it's not with your other parent?

(This might seem contradictory for me to insist that a "broken home" taught me the value of a good relationship, as here I am, still single and without one of my own, but the truth is my siblings, all younger, have very strong and healthy marriages. Maybe I'm a bit more screwed up in that vein, but then again, I lived with our two parents longer than they did. So, hmmm, maybe I am proving my point?)

The other thing that annoys me is when a man assumes that telling you his marriage is "in name only" means that you would embrace his return into your own life. Why would anyone want to dive into that mess? If he's so free to date other women, why the farce of a marriage? You think the kids will be happier knowing that daddy is pretending to sleep with mommy, but getting it on the side from a woman who's willing to "wait" for them to graduate so she can be with their daddy for real? (And then, the youngest graduates, but there will be another factor - it's waiting for him to get on his feet with his new job, and then the other kid is going through a bad patch with his fiance, and the third one has a health scare, and - what was I waiting for anyway?)

You see I have strong feelings about this. It has the ability to destroy any joy flowers could bring. But of course I can't be sure it's him, it's just that the timing is weird.


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