Saturday, June 21, 2008

I Now Pronounce You Stupid

And then there are the movies that are so mindless they are painful. I don't recall exactly why I started watching "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" but there I was one day last week, desperate for something to watch on tv, and my remote hand stumbled on it. It was bad, even with the knowledge going in that it would be lame. Still I watched for awhile, until I began to realize that the basic premise of the film made no sense: two guys marry in order to get benefits that would otherwise be denied them. But, you see, they are both working employed NYC firefighters. So what are they after that they don't have as individuals? Is it possible that the city gives couples more than it gives singles? How is that ever legal?

Trying to figure it out caused me to finish watching the movie, which turned out to be a waste of time. It's not explained. So I guess it came in the first 20 minutes that I'd missed.

Fast forward to tonight, when I see that it's airing again. So, determined to get to the bottom of this, I start watching. And it still makes no sense.

You see, Chuck (or Larry?) is a recent widower, and he goes to the benefits office to have his pension changed so that his kids are his beneficiary instead of his late wife. And he's told that it will take awhile. Not that it's impossible, mind you, but that it will take awhile, since he didn't take care of it within a year of his wife's death. So, we are to assume (it's never spelled out), that without this adjustment, if he dies in a fire, his kids won't get his pension. Because that makes sense. But the kicker comes when the benefits clerk tells him it would be faster if he married someone new, as that person could more quickly become his beneficiary than his own children. Because that makes even more sense.

So, instead of cursing himself out for not taking care of this for a year, then just hoping that nothing happens to him during the few months it will take for the paperwork to revert things to his kids, even though they've been "unprotected" in this same way for over a year, he gets the brilliant idea to marry his best (male) friend so his friend will get his pension, and take care of his kids.

Yes, that's it.

Naturally, hi jinks ensue. Silly, stupid, offensive, annoying, hi jinks.

Meanwhile, by the end of the movie, after all their inane adventures, I'm pretty sure the original paperwork might have gone through.


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