Sunday, April 05, 2009

If I say so, is it over?

Yesterday was an unusually dismal day. I don't mean the weather, which has been dismal for what seems like weeks, in that drawn-out end-of-winter way. Yesterday was in the mid 50's but cloudy and with a strong wind that sent chills through my body as I wandered out.

But what I meant was that yesterday I felt lousy all day. Nothing big to hang the cause on, no headache or physical ailment, just a general feeling of "blah," and worse, a constant sense of "what should I do now?" Days off that feel like wastes of time are horrifying. I always have things to do. I usually can wile away the hours by doing jigsaw puzzles on the computer while listening to weekend NPR shows, or reading trashy magazines while getting a pedicure, or catching up on podcasts while filling the cart at Whole Foods. I did all of these yesterday and still felt like crawling back into bed and hiding from the rest of the day. Even walking home from the pedicure I could feel the bad mood still on me like a blanket, one I couldn't shrug off (and wouldn't , as I was cold.)

Now, Sunday morning, start of the second day of my weekend. The sun is out, and today has been promised to be beautiful. Maybe all I need is some sunshine. Maybe I need to go to the gym, pick up an iced coffee on the way back, and sit up on the roof deck and soak up the sun.

So, if I call this bad mood over, will it be so? Can I pull myself out of it just by trying?


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